Bereavement
Please accept our sincerest condolences. We know your heart is heavy. And that your body is most likely still responding to your baby's birth. This may bring you some comfort or it may be an unwelcome reminder of the baby you no longer have.
We acknowledge your feelings; there is no right or wrong way to grieve. Losing a baby is the most difficult thing a mother will ever face.
Some mothers have found comfort and healing by donating their baby's milk to another baby in need.
If you decide on milk donation, please call us for a brief telephone screening. We will guide you through the process by following your lead on how you want to proceed.
To begin the screening process, please contact us at:
donatemilk@nymilkbank.org
212.956.MILK (6455)
"As much as it is a lifeline to babies in the neonatal intensive care unit, milk donation was a crucial part of my own healing; it helped to keep my empty arms busy and saved me from sinking into a black hole of sadness and depression."
~ Janine Lewis, mother of baby Micah
"I pumped for four months in hopes that one day my Mallory would be able to eat. The breast milk was hers. I couldn't think of a better thing to do with her milk than to give other babies an opportunity to thrive."
~ Kimmie McDanel, mother of baby Mallory
We can help by offering options on what to do with your breastmilk:
If you want to cease milk production, periodically apply cold compresses to your breasts. Ask the Lactation Consultant at the hospital how to hand express to relieve pressure.
If you want to donate milk for a longer period of time, pump to empty on a schedule that works for you. You can pump every 4 hours in the beginning. Massage your breasts during pumping. You can eventually space out pumping to every 6 hours as long as you are not uncomfortably full. When you are ready to wean from pumping, pump for less time leaving some milk in the breasts and pump less and less frequently.
If you want to donate some milk for a limited time period, keep your breasts comfortably full. Pump or hand express to relieve pressure but keep the breasts somewhat full. If you become engorged, pump to relieve most of the pressure and apply cool compresses for 20 min. at a time as needed. Continue to pump infrequently to relieve pressure.
Here are some helpful resources:
Long Island
516-832-2673 info@copefoundation.org
www.copefoundation.org/grief-resources/
New York City
https://www.seleni.org/advice-support/miscarriage-child-loss
Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network, Inc.
Phone: 716-626-6363 www.wnypbn.org
Postpartum Support International 800-944-4773
Cope Foundation 516-832-2673
Seleni Institute 212-939-7200
Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network, Inc. 716-626-6363
Compassionate Friends 877-969-0010
Baby Steps 905-707-1030
BPUSA 501-847-4102
GriefHaven 310-459-1789
GriefShare 800-395-5755
SHARE Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support 800-395-5755